Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
