Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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