If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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