I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
