I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
