Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
