I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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