I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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