Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
