I think I just saw someone hide a body.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
