called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
