There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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