My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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