laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
