Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Found the puke drawer
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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