ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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