she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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