Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she peed on how many people?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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