so that wasnt chicken after all
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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