Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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