There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
