do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
accomplished twins. life is a go
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
