If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There r osticjed everywhere
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
