we have pet lesbian snakes
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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