one might say we're banned from that church
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
