i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
