Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
