dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
