Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
