It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
