she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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