Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
