My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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