My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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