Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
