I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
