the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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