Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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