i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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