In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
