Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
