There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
