Porn is love you can see.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
