Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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