Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
