I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Jerry, you need to find god
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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