There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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