listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You ate ashes out of my bong
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
