let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Let's get the cat blown out
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
