Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
